Tiger Woods and Pornography
I do not normally keep up with celebrity gossip, but as a golf fan, I haven’t been able to avoid the Tiger Woods scandal. At the time of this writing at least 11 women – mostly a combination of porn stars, cocktail waitresses and clubbers – have been intimately attached to the married golf star.
I think most people – even those who are not religious – find Tiger’s actions reprehensible; if the accusations and rumors are true, he appears to have engaged in extra-marital relations on a very frequent basis with many, many women. He seems to have no control over himself and his desires and little respect for his marital bond. Obviously I too condemn such behavior, but we would miss an important lesson if we just thought this was a problem unique to Tiger or even to celebrities.
Tiger engaged in adulterous behavior on a wide scale because a wide scale of women were available to him easily. As the comedian Chris Rock cynically noted, “A man is only as faithful as his options”. I don’t agree with this statement as it doesn’t take into account the power of grace, but there is truth in it. How many men in Tiger’s place would have been able to remain completely faithful? I think we can answer that question by looking at what is available to most men on a wide scale easily: pornography. Considering the tremendous commercial success of pornography, it is ridiculous to think many married men are not engaging in it. Yet every time a married man views pornography, he is engaging in adultery just like Tiger.
For both Tiger and the average husband viewing pornography, he is committing adultery when it is convenient for him to do so. For Tiger, that involved real physical contact with woman. For the average husband, it involves virtual contact. Christ told us that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully commits adultery with her in his heart: so how is the married man who views pornography any different than Tiger?
Tiger’s family life is imploding very publicly right now, but pornography is causing many families to implode silently. We should pray for Tiger and his family and also for all husbands struggling with pornography.
to commit adultery in your heart is the same as committing adultery in the flesh? is that what you are saying?
That’s what Christ said, Kinana. Christ said that whoever looks at a woman with lust in his heart has committed adultery with her.
Kinana,
My point is a larger one than that. Pornography is the adultery most available to the masses. “Adultery of the flesh” is the adultery most available to celebrities. What is the actual difference in the heart (where we will be judged) between Tiger choosing to engage in the (physical) adultery available to him and an average husband choosing to engage in the (virtual) adultery available to him? Do you really think the pornography-viewing husband would restrain himself if he had the same opportunities for physical adultery as Tiger?
Grace Mercy & Peace to you!!!
Thank you so much for your insight on Tiger & pornography. I believe it is worth mentioning here about what really lies under the addiction mentioned. We do need to bring to light the sin of adultery but the root of the problem is not being addressed in most of the media right now.
You are absolutely right, we do need to pray for Tiger and others who have similar addictions. Tiger I am sure is in much pain now as in the past. Pornography is a symptom of a greater problem that he is facing in his life right now.
God Bless,
Br. Michael Mary
These words in quotations from Pope Paul IV’s Encyclical Humanae Vitae are haunting in light of the Tiger Woods story:
“Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.”
Artifical Contraception gradually changes the way men, in general, view women and it is also the key enabler for modern elicit Pornography.
Aaron
Being old enough to remember the world before the internet, I remember a world where both men and women had a much better sense of decorum. Women and girls were the fair sex, who by their rebuff of a immoral advance could shame the offender into acceptance of that which is morally right. The internet has changed that. One only need watch a few YouTube videos made by teen and even pre-teen girls to understand how vulgar the internet generation has become.
Were we intrinsically better people before the internet? No, but we had far fewer occasions of sin to pull us down. Any country that would allow the most vile sexual acts to enter our homes is a country we cannot be proud of.
I believe you are taking that out of context. Christ was speaking metaphorically in that statement. Protestants continually ask “why do Catholic’s call Priests father when Christ said call no man father” and apologist have easy answers for them.
I’m not saying that viewing pornography is ok or not wrong… but it is not the same as physical adultery.
“How many men in Tiger’s place would have been able to remain completely faithful?”
As a woman, I find this extremely disappointing. I’ve been listening to that strain of thought Mr. Sammons presented above for a long time now, and it’s a strain of thought I had long tried to resist. I really didn’t want to believe men were such weak slaves to their desires. You see, as a woman I do not find it hard to accept that I am a whole and complete human being. On the other hand, I’ve come to regard you men as, well, dogs. You act like dogs. You think of yourselves as dogs. You talk about each other as dogs. It’s become common knowledge now that men simply cannot control themselves; if sex is available to a man, he’ll go for it. End of story. “Marriage commitments? Children? My own integrity and the reputation of my sex? Ah, who cares about those – I want to have sex!” Of course, dogs do the same thing, especially male dogs. So I can’t think of you men as my equals. You’re not. You’re men, which is to say, you are glorified dogs. You may find my remarks inflammatory, but try to prove me wrong. How can you? Your own remarks above confirm that I’m right. Or did you forget that you yourself said…
“How many men in Tiger’s place would have been able to remain completely faithful?”
Laura,
You took my quote out of context. That sentence led to my point about the fact that many men view pornography, thus breaking their marriage vows like Tiger allegedly did. My point is that men who view pornography have proven that they cannot remain faithful to their marriage vows, so a husband who views pornography would be very likely to succumb to physical adultery if in Tiger’s position.
However, there are many men who do NOT view pornography, and by doing so they have shown that they would not succumb to the temptations of the flesh like Tiger did. Nowhere did I indicate that ALL men succumb to these temptations, as you seem to believe.
Men are not dogs, but those who allow their passions to overcome them act like dogs. Fortunately, through the grace of God many men do not allow their passions to rule them. You need to ask God to allow you to see men as images of God, who like all human beings, sometimes fall to temptation, but also oftentimes respond to God’s grace and live righteously.
Laura,
Your comments remind me of the story of the wife who constantly bakes sweets for her husband to eat, is insulted if he doesn’t, and then complains that he is fat. Is the husband a glutton? Never mind that the wife herself is rather plump….
If women didn’t have such a hard time controlling their own sex drives – in fact demanding the right to indulge their sexual appetites – constantly baring their sexuality and offering themselves to men, then the men would not have the occasion to act like dogs. Both sexes are at fault when it comes to lust, and it is ignorant to declare that one or the other is to blame.
Since you feel so strongly about it, perhaps you are not called to marriage; virginity and celibacy are wonderful gifts that witness to the power of grace in human lives, which enable us to serve God and others more freely.
Peace
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. It is sad when you see celebrity sins plastered everywhere, but they are a perfect illustration of the truth that simply being with “the perfect woman” does not stop the power of lust. Only grace does that:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/09/22/husbands-who-watch-porn-part-4-wives-are-asking-whats-wrong-with-me/