When we joined we wanted to be faithful to Christ and the Church. When it all ended, however it happened to end, for some of us the connections were just too tight. All of our heart and soul, and I mean of it, went into this dedication. And the methods of the Legion of Christ reinforced the connection. Vocation to the priesthood was intertwined to such an extent that I know of ex members who left the Legion and did not think twice about leaving the priesthood immediately, since the two were one and the same for them. There is no distinction in the Legion: it was all God’s Will, your vocation, punishable by damnation and sure failure in life if you were not faithful, i.e. were not generous enough.

Besides, what was there that I had not given to Christ IN the Legion? I could not wake up one morning and suddenly find another set of connections. I had POURED my heart and soul into this.

And now those still in would call me unfaithful to my vocation. Well, I was unfaithful to the lie in the end, so I think I am better off. But during it all, I gave it my all.

I think it is high time that everyone understand out there that this is not so easy a question. I am not saying that everyone who leaves the LC leaves that Church. That would not be true. But some do, and the reasons are very solid ones.

Also, in my case, I blame the Church for not protecting me. For allowing this to go on, and allowing me to be manipulated. I know it was just certain people in the Church, certain bishops, cardinals, Vatican officials, and maybe more than one pope, but what does that leave me with? I can only love the Church that I see, and what I have seen has left me sickened. Now-a-days, I see the Church much more in some civil-dressed nun living on her own in the projects helping Christ who she finds in the poor.